If you’re a woman living in an Indian city, you know what I’m talking about when I refer to the general category of “creepy guys in public places”. It might be verbal lechery, an actual physical act of aggression or maybe it’s a guy stepping into your personal boundaries – something that makes you uncomfortable. Heck, sometimes just the way someone’s looking at you is enough to give you the creeps. It’s happened to all of us, and we’ve reacted to it – hit the guy with whatever you had in hand (an umbrella, in the case of one of my friends), we might have made a hue and cry about it – trying to gather a crowd, we might have even complained to the appropriate authorities. But more often than not, especially in a city like Kochi – no one takes a young woman complaining about a ‘creepy guy’ seriously. They’ll tell you to ‘try not to provoke this kind of behavior’, or (and I’ve heard this lot, when I was in college) ‘not dress that way’. One place where reaction to misbehavior always backfires, is of course the movie theatre – where you’re ‘disturbing’ the other movie-viewers when you tell off the creep in the next seat, and on complaining to the theatre management you’re met with a bland comment about how they’ll ‘take care of it after the movie’. For me, I can’t help but react to acts of disrespect to women (especially if that woman is ME); but I’m also extremely wary of ‘reacting’ in a movie theatre. This is why I was pleasantly surprised by the management in a theatre in Kochi recently.

My story goes like this. A few weeks back, I went to one of the city’s oldest, most popular movie theatres, to watch the latest mallu satire with my mom and a friend. So, it was just us, three women – and there was an empty seat next to me, which was soon occupied by your average ‘creepy dude’. While I was pretty conscious about my neighbor – I was relieved he wasn’t pulling any stunts. But that lasted only until the interval, soon after which ………well, lets just say, it became impossible for me to sit there and watch the movie. I ruled out the option of telling him off – it wouldn’t have worked. And being 20-something – I’m too old to be ‘telling mommy on him’. So, I told mum I was going to the washroom. I walked out of the hall, went straight to the manager and told him what the deal was. I asked him very politely if he’ll help me or not – and I was preparing myself for the ‘we’ll look into it after the show, madam’ speech – when, to my surprise, he called for the security guard, turned to me and said “Say no more, madam – we’ll take care of it. Just show the guard where this man is seated”. So, I did – and the creepy guy was immediately removed from the cinema hall. I would assume he was escorted out of the premises. And thus, I was able to enjoy the second half of the movie in peace.

While I’ve been impressed by the way almost all the movie theatres in Ernakulam have been revamped and given facelifts, this is the first time I’m encountering such a prompt and clean response to a woman’s complaint. I am deeply impressed. Here’s a big thumbs-up to the management at Saritha-Savitha-Sangeetha, for doing their part in making
Kochi’s theatres safer for women. Let’s hope the other movie houses in the city take notes from them –
if they’re not already doing their part!

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“The male species, be it the bees the birds or the boys have been created for the sole propose of pleasing a woman”. Wow I feel wonderful after stating one of my more optimistic views about my ideal world. yes yes you guessed right.. Am a female, who sighs at the appalling condition the male of our species has come down to (or were they always there? A matter I shall ponder, on a later date.)
No am not talking about the rare man (usually your father, or brother or even that gay best friend you might have) am talking about those you encounter on the buses, the streets, shops, the next door neighbor, that annoying colleague in the next cubicle, that watchman at your office .. oh.. You see them everywhere wearing smart pants (occasionally) or checked lungi and smoking a beedi. These men generally leer at you, pass a comment or break into a toneless song, when they sight a woman, given a chance the bolder ones might even try and grope you. This makes one wonder, what sadistic pleasure does a man receive from making a woman uncomfortable by inflicting his undesirable presence on her? Is this a misguided dating ritual that they follow, whistle at the passing girl, she just might fall for you. Well if it is, we are certainly not aware of it, and leering at a woman is not the way to her heart
What is sadder is that, even the young educated boys of this city seem to fall into the same category. A flashy car bought by the ultra rich father, top notch education at an international school and branded cloths does not make a man a gentleman. What happened to the idea of holding the door open for a girl? Let her walking in ahead of you than slam the door on her face? Stand up when a woman enters and leaves the room. In fact, small things like this might earn brownie points (like her number) with a woman than breaking into songs or even leering.
As old fashioned as this may sound, a woman likes to be treated with respect, yes we want equality we want to split the bills (some of them), but this certainly does not mean that we are fair game on the street and the bus. If not open the doors for us, at least let us be, let us walk down the roads without fear of being leered and ogled at, let us get on the buses at night without the fear of male taunts and groping hands. Keep those lustful thoughts to yourself and don’t regale us with them. Be the educated gentleman you want to be through actions and deeds. If not please us in every way, just let us be so that we may live in peace.